(no subject)

[yiskah]

In keeping with the recent theme of using this livejournal as a means fo getting you to entertain me with little to no effort on my own part, I hereby designate today

ANONYMOUS COMMENTS FRIDAY.

Anonymous commenting enabled; I barely know what an IP address is and couldn't log one with a gun to my head. (Please do not test this claim.) Tell me something SCANDALOUS or FABULOUS or RIDICULOUS or just RANDOM. Have at it.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I've recently realised that it is possible to be in love with two people at the same time. Whatever 'in love' means.

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

Ooh, that's awkward (unless you're polyamorous, in which case awesome!). What are you going to do about it?

[(Anonymous)]

Anonymous comments whoooooooooooooo ZAZ!

Someone has a crush on me and I like them, but not in THAT way. I'm also monogamous and spoken for, and the crush-person is not even my preferred gender (although I am a teensy weensy bit bi-curious). What should I dooooo? Help me, O Friends Of Yiskah!

[(Anonymous)]

OMG synchronicity! I just posted the comment before yours. CHASTITY is the new scandal!?

[(Anonymous)]

I am trying desperately to cultivate a crush on a perfectly sexy, funny, clever, flirtatious guy who appears to find me intriguing, and I CAN'T DO IT. I am BROKEN. What is wrong with me?














(I do actually know what's wrong with me, but it wouldn't be half as ridiculous if I told you.)

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

I suspect that what's wrong with you is the same as what's wrong with me. I am reliably informed that it will pass in time, and have thus far refrained from grabbing my interlocutor by the throat and bashing their head repeatedly off a hard surface while shrieking "WHEN? WHEN, YOU FUCKER? WHEEEEEEEEEN?"

[naranek.livejournal.com]

The pelican which ate a pigeon in London lately was the secret lovechild of Prince Charles and Lloyd Grossman and shouldn't be blamed; it was simply emulating its parents.

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

You definitely qualify on standards of randomness and ridiculous, though not so much on anonymity...

[(Anonymous)]

I've got some secrets that are so sordid that I can't even post them anonymously. If people find out what I've been doing I think they'll lose all respect for me. They should, because I've behaved disgracefully.

It makes me wonder if lots of people are like this. Do we all have things we can't ever share, for fear of revealing our true selves or of hurting those around us?

What's the point of being honest, really, anyway?

[glitzfrau.livejournal.com]

Being honest is a very, very cunning scam. It's the best way of lying I know. That is why.

(sheds cloak of anonymity. See? Looks honest, doesn't it? You'd trust me now!)

[(Anonymous)]

Argh, you know everything already. Tonight I shall have to go home, drink tea and stroke my own hair. WHICH SUCKS.

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

Oh meh, poor you. If it makes you feel any better, tonight I am having dinner with my pregnant supervisor and her partner, and tomorrow I am going to an engagement party. MEH. I am going to have to pack a gigantic thermos of tea and stroke my own hair all the way to Leeds and back.

[(Anonymous)]

I think I am getting divorced. I'm just getting the will together.

Also, sometimes I feel like my heart will burst with happiness and formless longing. It's all good really.

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

Oh wow! That's a big upheaval; I'm glad you're feeling so positive about it. Good luck!

[(Anonymous)]

I really like and admire you but I can't bring myself to comment in your journal except anonymously because I'm too jealous of your book publishing deal.

[chiller.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHA! Ok, this is the best anonymous comment I've ever read.

[(Anonymous)]

Actually, I'm just slightly intimidated by your GO GO GO GO lifestyle at the moment. I feel sluggish and indolent and rubbish. But mostly, you are an inspiration and I'm SO happy for you, and I just have a couple of big things to sort out and then I can do the same. Yes? Yes.

[(Anonymous)]

NOT rubbish, do you hear me? LOVELY.

[(Anonymous)]

I am torn between being incredibly jealous of your deal and wanting to congratulate you. On the other hand, you are fabulous and we all love you!

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

Awww, thank you anonymous! x

[doetja.livejournal.com]

Anonymous comments threads make me feel inadequate because I never have any scandal, fabulosity or even randomness to share, anonymously or otherwise, but specially not anonymously. And I get really bored with myself that every time there's one of these threads I desperately try to think of something to post, never find it, and always end up posting a variety on this very comment. Which is the most depressingly boring comment possible on a juicy thread, and which got old years ago, but does it stop me? Patently it doesn't.

People who have no conversation can still crave it. I call this bad design.

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

You could just make something up?

You're not boring, anyway. PAH.

[(Anonymous)]

I am spending thousands on education, and working full time AND paying a mortgage. I can't study as much as I should, because I have to work late to leave early to go to my classes, and I can't take a part time job because of my mortgage.

As well as that, I have no guarantee of ever working in the field that I'm studying, although I'd like to.

Can I not just be happy with what I've got?
What the fuck am I doing?

ARRRGH!

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

Ahahahahaa! I don't mean to mock your pain; it's just amazing because a lot of the time I feel EXACTLY THE SAME (minus the full-time work, plus the book deal), with the added extra of having effectively fucked up a relationship in order to be in the situation I am now in, no idea if I'll be able to get the sort of job I want post PhD, and no idea if I'll even still want that sort of job by that point because wow, I do actually want to have a personal life again at some point. I sympathise, anon, I really do.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm 8 weeks pregnant.

[glitzfrau.livejournal.com]

whoa, that IS new. I hope everything is OK for you, anonymous person.

[ultraruby.livejournal.com]

Woah, this is one of the most intense anon comments posts I've ever seen. I failed the Spam Robot Challenge 5 time in a row; I'm slightly concerned I'm not human now.

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

I know! I feel compelled to have some sort of virtual anonymous group hug now. I hope everyone's OK.

I am fairly sure that you're human.

[(Anonymous)]

I love how it's always more like Anonymous Agony Column Friday. (which is not intended to mock the issues that folk are discussing.)

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean - I think that these threads tend to be cathartic for a lot of people.

[(Anonymous)]

Last night I got drunk and ended up posing for a series of photos as a half-naked angel in a nativity scene. I woke up this morning really really wanting to be taken roughly from behind. I just feel jaded and tawdry now.
just thought I'd up the random scandal factor.

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

Ahahahaha awesome!

[sinsense.livejournal.com]

I thought about posting this anonymously, but I am utter pants at removing identifying details. This is probably because I am a big self-absorbed me me meee-er.

So!
Crush on an ostensibly straight girl, although she sends me text messages near-constantly and I keep catching her looking at me during practice in vaguely soppy manner. She is lovely and so very totally not my type, save that she makes me laugh uproariously and is deliciously cute. I am thinking of changing her LJ pseudonym to Calves, because really I am a lechy perv. (I did not know calves could be so attractive, though. Delicious.) It is nice, though, to know that I am not a damaged freak who is only attracted to fantasies. Although now I fear I am attracted only to the unattainable.

Also!
I have a date tonight, with a boy. I contacted him through a personal ad. I really don't want to go, because although I have dated boys, and I am attracted to boys, I am really, really grossed out by the idea of dating one right now. Part of it may also be aforementioned silly crush on Calves? I don't know. I only realized that I didn't want to date a boy after he contacted me back, and lord, he is nice and funny and seems attractive and so on, and I feel like a jerk. We are going to a nice little place tonight, and I am going to try to act normally and be nice, I guess, and meanwhile I will want to be checking my phone for messages from Calves and will be trying to tabulate when I can conceivably make a break for it. How unfair is that?

Even more so!
I love academia tons and tons, but I am such a fcking fraud. I just had to pull an all-nighter for a paper that I basically forgot about because of the Harvard conference, and it's utter crappity crap, and I have not yet made a decision about what schools I'm applying to, for which my self-imposed deadline is October 31st, which means a weekend of frantic hair-pulling, and GOD WHY DO I LOSE AT LIFE? And everyone seems to think I'm utter fantasticity, but I am not. I am a very unoriginal thinker and not very adaptive and hiss. HISSSS.

Meanwhile!
I have been working out scads and scads and using new face soap and suddenly I have the body I've always wanted and my skin is sort of clear. It is nice, because while I don't view myself as hot or even very attractive (which is more a 'hey we all have skewed perceptions of ourselves and maybe my self-esteem could use some work plus I am not fond of my pointy pointy nose' sort of thing than a worrisome thing) I am still sort of pleased with my body, and it is nice not to have any sort of thought when I see it in the mirror, other than 'haha, look at my bicep! flexy rexy!' It is not particularly positive, but not negative at all, which I like more than I thought possible.

Oh, that was nice to do. Thank you!

[biascut.livejournal.com]

I am a very unoriginal thinker and not very adaptive and hiss.

Y'know we all feel like that, though, don't you? Except for those occasional moments of OH YEAH BABY I'M ON FIRE, IN YOUR FACE FOUCAULT or whatever. Srsly, all.

[(Anonymous)]

Someone on my f'list who is a GOOD FRIENDS with one of my GOOD FRIENDS and who I sometimes see in real life just posted something which makes me go eeeuuuuuurgh, I think you're wrong, I respect your right to disagree, but I don't respect your position at all. I am vaguely considering de-friending, I'm that uncomfortable, but that would be passive-aggressive, and kind of pathetic because I don't think there's anything wrong with having friends who think differently, but PAH.

[doetja.livejournal.com]

Not passive-aggressive, just honest. Not pathetic, but rather affirmative of your own borders. Go on.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know if you like me. Then again I worry about just how many people really like me, and if most people I know are just too lazy to tell me to go away. Woe! I thought I'd left this feeling behind when I started work.

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

So part of me wants to say something like "of course I like you!" but then it is an anonymous comment after all and averring that I like someone when I don't actually know who they are is rather empty and hollow. But you certainly write like someone I like, and if it's any consolation I think that a lot of people feel the way you do about themselves, at least some of the time.

[(Anonymous)]

I am going as The Angel Of Death for Hallowe'en and since the song, "Angel Of Death" is about Josef Mengele and Nazis are eeeeeevil as befits Hallowe'en I wondered if I should put a swastika on my costume? And I got all excited about the idea of being able to draw and wear what is actually quite a funky-looking symbol that is usually verboten. But then I decided I'd rather not have anyone get offended, so I could concentrate on getting drunk instead, so I decided against it. The End.

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

Getting drunk is more important, you're right.

Oh god, do I have to think of a Halloween costume? Help!

[(Anonymous)]

I am on the verge of losing two of my closest friends, mainly because I'm absolutely convinced a third 'friend' of all of us is occasionally so hideous to me. No matter how nice to me she is 95% of the time, the other 5% is so awful I just can't be around her. And I'm aware it's possibly entirely in my head, and if I say anything to the others I risk losing their friendship as well. But I really, really don't want to be around her when I always come back feeling totally horrendous. However, constantly making excuses not to see any of them in case she's there is making the three of them alienate me. God, it's all so schoolyard. I seriously need to get a grip.

Woo, there's my Friday whinge. I'll grow up now.

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

Argh, that is a horrible situation, and I don't think you need to grow up at all - you're perfectly entitled to be upset about it. Could you not explain the issue to your friends in a non-judgemental, non-blaming way, just stating that you and X aren't getting on right now so it'd be better if you socialised separately? They've probably got an idea of what's going on already, and I would have thought they'd understand. Sorry about the unsolicited advice, and I hope things sort themselves out OK. x

[(Anonymous)]

i had an affair with a boy, and kept it going even when i knew he was falling in love with me while i only liked having someone to sleep with.

now i broke his heart, and he is ruining half of his life in his pain. i hate to watch it but all throughout i realize i feel nothing, other than that he should grow up and take better care of himself.

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

Ouch, that is tough. You are right, though; he has to be responsible for his own life, and I hope he manages to get it together.

[(Anonymous)]

You're a really special, magnificent, beautiful, inspirational and mesmerising person. I feel really lucky to have you as a friend, you're so talented and driven and I hope you achieve all your dreams.

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

Oh, lovely, lovely anonymous person, you made me tear up a little! I kiss you. xxx

[(Anonymous)]

Something pretty nasty on the scale of shit things happened to me a long time ago. While I thought it didn't affect me, in the last few years it does more and more despite my efforts to erase and let go.

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry that the shit thing happened to you, anon.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel unloveable and sad.

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

PAH, poor anon. I felt that way this morning, but this anon thread has been oddly cathartic. Maybe you should do one, and see if it helps. xxx