I'm having a really tough time of it emotionally at the moment, every time I think I'm over the split up, something new and stupid happens and it drags me back in. Uhhh. I wish I could think about Valentine's Day in a nice way.
I'm never going to have enough time to read all the books that I want to read, and I'll never know everything I want to know, I can barely scratch the surface, and this makes me very sad sometimes.
I chased my boyfriend around the flat this morning. He hid behind the bathroom door but I found him and we laughed. We had a cuddle and I groped his bare bottom, which is the best bottom I have ever ever seen. Seriously, sometimes I'll be sat at work really bored and I'll think about his bum and it'll make me smile.
I know there's a recession and that everything is awful and we're all going to die BUT: after months of things being quite bollocks I had some ace kissing at the weekend! And while I don't think it'll be repeated (too messy on both sides) the fact of how good it was has given me a complete jolt of fire inside and spurred me on to start making some massive and overdue and scary changes in my life.
I really fancy someone on your friends list who comments here regularly. Recent interactions at another journal make me think this person fancies me too. I wish they'd say something because I am too shy.
I feel really despondent about my chances of ever having a decent, long-term relationship. Most of the time, I'm happily single and really like my life, but every now and again, that horrible lonely feeling rears up, especially at this time of year. It sucks. I don't want to be the person tomorrow eating crap and watching bad films and feeling sorry for myself, but I know it's going to happen.
It doesn't help that I really like a guy and I have no idea if he likes me and no idea about the best way to ask him out. (It doesn't help that I know him professionally.) I've never asked anyone out in my life! Waiting for the true and tried British "Let's get drunk in a pub and snog" really isn't ideal.
Whinge away! And I sympathise: it can be very difficult to make the first move with someone if you're past the "get blind drunk and Do It" phase. I was very angsty about this in my last bout of singleness, but them Tom and I did get together like that, even though we're supposed to be more mature.
Srsly! It was like the kissing unlocked all the 'This is why you are unhappy with aspects of your life, and this is what you can do to change it'. You'll probably figure out who this is in a few months when I start blithering about it on LJ but for now I will just flail here.
AND, my kissee said what a good kisser I was and now I want to kiss EVERYONE. ALL OF YOU, I KISS YOU!
Today at work we are having pizza and brownies. Next week babies AND puppies are coming in, for yet more cake. I know I hate my job sometimes, and feel like I am festering here, and the whole job search is just shitty and soul destroying, but I am lucky really, that I don't HATE hate it here. Plus, you know, puppies and cake!!
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